Picture This

It was a dark and stormy night.

Sorry, I always wanted to write that. But then again, it was dark and stormy, and it was before midnight, thus making the time of day night. I was driving down Santa Fe road near Aspen Grove Shopping Center when I had to honk at some yahoo who was pac-manning it. Said yahoo eventually ended up behind me in the turn lane onto Mineral road, and as I was completing this turn, he sped up suddenly, creating a dangerous situation where I could not even see his headlights. Do I…

A) Speed up excessively, even though I know it will create an even more dangerous situation
B) Speed up slightly, to the normal (daytime & dry) speed limit
C) Let off the accelerator, and allow my vehicle to coast
D) Brake suddenly, hoping he rear-ends me and I get to sue his ass

The correct answer would of course be C. In this situation, performing A, B, or D create an even more unsafe situation, which could potentially lead to a collision. Not what we need on this particular stormy night. So, if you\’re the aforementioned yahoo, what do you do?

A) Speed up – maybe you can make the asshole in front of you move faster.
B) Put your brights on – he can\’t see you, obviously, so make yourself more visible
C) Speed around him (on the right side) – The SUV that\’s over there won\’t mind being blinded (because you put your brights on)
D) Do both B and C, and honk excessively at the guys ass when you cut him off.
E) Slow down a little – put a safe distance between yourself and everyone else on the road, you\’re getting there no faster!

Well this particular yahoo chose D, except he never actually got around me – as soon as he moved over, I kicked in the accelerator, which is superior to his. Obviously the correct answer is E, but of course that one doesn\’t usually pass through people\’s head – heck, I forgot about it when I was writing that block, and had to go back and add it. Anyway, let this serve as a warning to you assholes I share the road with – I don\’t take crap, especially when driving. If you value your vehicle integrity and the integrity of your body, I suggest you follow the damn rules. And ferchrissakes, slow down when it\’s raining.