Archive for the 'Adventures in Road Rage' Category

Picture This

Published
by
mattfast1
on October 21, 2007
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 0 Comments

It was a dark and stormy night.

Sorry, I always wanted to write that. But then again, it was dark and stormy, and it was before midnight, thus making the time of day night. I was driving down Santa Fe road near Aspen Grove Shopping Center when I had to honk at some yahoo who was pac-manning it. Said yahoo eventually ended up behind me in the turn lane onto Mineral road, and as I was completing this turn, he sped up suddenly, creating a dangerous situation where I could not even see his headlights. Do I…

A) Speed up excessively, even though I know it will create an even more dangerous situation
B) Speed up slightly, to the normal (daytime & dry) speed limit
C) Let off the accelerator, and allow my vehicle to coast
D) Brake suddenly, hoping he rear-ends me and I get to sue his ass
Continue reading ‘Picture This’

mattfast1 to Sheridan Police Force: Kiss my shiny metal ass.

Published
by
mattfast1
on May 20, 2006
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 0 Comments

So I’m driving down Hampden earlier today on my way home from my grandma’s house, and what should I see right after the speed changes? Why, nothing but the Laser indicator on my radar detector going wild. Well, I thought the speed limit was 65, so I slow down to 70, which is within a reasonable amount, and I still get pulled over. The office politely informs me that the speed limit is 45 and that he will have to issue a summons for Sheridan municipal court.

So, if you need me on June 8th around 6pm… you know where to find me.

And you know I’ll still be speeding to work tonight.

Tickets; Rocks; BLARG!

Published
by
mattfast1
on April 21, 2006
in Adventures in Road Rage, Friends, Funny, School, Stories and Theatre
. 0 Comments

Here's something I said I'd do more often: Update the blog.

 I figure I should give more people a glimpse into my life, and such.

 Anyway…. Just woke up a while ago after a +1 day.

First, I went to court down in Castle Rock, for a ticket I got back in January (I was going 80 in a 65). If I would have paid the ticket within 20 days, it would have cost me $68.80 and the ticket would have been reduced to a Defective Vehicle charge, which is a two point ticket.  Well, I went to court, paid $78.00, and it was reduced to a Speeding 5-9, which is only a 1 point ticket.

Then, I went to my security class only to find I only had a test. Since I finished in 20 minutes, I went to the Arapahoe High School production of The Sound of Music. It wasn't the greatest show I've seen performed on the Arapahoe stage, but what can you do. I surprised some people with my presense, which was good. Afterward, I went to Village Inn with a few people, as that is a tradition of show nights.

However, after VI is when stuff started to be fun. Beth and Isaac and I went to Red Rocks whilest they were working on a paper for their History class. Well, we started walking about the ampitheatre, and just as we're in the perfect hiding place (right next to the door to the booth), a searchlight comes on and starts scanning the place. So, naturally, after the light stops, we make for the closest exit furthest away from where the light was, which actually made for a shorter walk to the car.

 Then, I'm driving back home down 470, and someone comes up close behind me, then zooms around me. Well, I'm starting to think about chasing them, when I suddenly see the words on the side of the car: Douglas County Sheriff. That's right, being caught by that guy would have caused me to have to drive down to the court in Castle Rock once again. I'm not that stupid, especially on the same day a gift had been given to me.

*crash* *tinkle* *tinkle*

Published
by
mattfast1
on January 19, 2006
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 2 Comments

Right, so I’m on the way to school tonight in the middle of a snowstorm, and this Volvo in front of me decides he’s gonna stomp on his brakes. Since I can’t stop that fast, I bump into the back of his car.

True, it was only at 15mph. However, you may remember 20 days ago, when Sho was in an accident; you may also remember back to last year when Sho got a stopping ticket, then as soon as I get into a car, I get a speeding ticket worth the same amount of monies and points. So, it seems I’m cursed.

Published
by
mattfast1
on January 13, 2006
in Adventures in Road Rage and Asides
. 0 Comments

I guess I’m not the only one getting annoyed now.

WTFOMGGAH!

Published
by
mattfast1
on December 28, 2005
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 0 Comments

Yes, I really did utter that statement.

(Crossposted to Adventures in Asshattery (no longer running); sorry for those who see it twice!)

OOOH! Original Chipotle SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOODDD!!!!!!!
Continue reading ‘WTFOMGGAH!’

Dude. You need a ride someplace?

Published
by
mattfast1
on November 16, 2005
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 2 Comments

My parents finally decided to make a purchase of a new vehicle.

They bought a 2005 Chevy Malibu which was formerly a rental car in Hawaii.

Therefore, they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse on their old car.

I am now the proud owner of their 1998 Ford Escort with slightly over 70,000 miles on it.

Of course, I bought it for less than half of the blue book value. So that made me kind of happy in the pants.

Karma is my very close friend…

Published
by
mattfast1
on November 12, 2005
in Adventures in Road Rage
. 0 Comments

Right, so the other day, I’m driving home from work. It’s dark. I’m having fun, cruising down County Line, or something like that.

Then, I turn onto Clarkson. I’m happily speeding down the street, when I see a pair of headlights shining out of the cross street. I’m thinking, “hmmm, those headlights look a little weird…. they almost look like… HOOOOOLLLLLLYYYYYYY CCCCRRRRAAAAPPPPPP!!!!! *SCRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCHHHH*!”. That’s right, they were the headlights of an Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Deputy. Fortunately, he was leaving that trap for a better place, so he didn’t catch me. However, he did follow me down Clarkson, and therefore I was driving a little less stupidly than I usually do. I even stopped at that gay stopsign. But that’s not the point.

The point is that the cop followed me over a mile. Then he parked in the church parking lot at the corner of Clarkson & Dry Creek.

Fuck off, Officer Finley

Published
by
mattfast1
on October 20, 2005
in Adventures in Road Rage, Financial and Stupidity
. 0 Comments

Damn this “Officer Finley” character, of the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Department.

You may remember back in July, when I got a speeding ticket. Well, if you look closely at the ticket, it was given by a guy named Finley, officer number 00199.

Well, I get pulled over on the way home from work yesterday, and lo and behold, it’s the same jackoff, giving me the same sized ticket.

Damn.

This one I intend to fight in court, though. Once by the same officer is bad luck. Twice? Methinks it’s conspiricy.

More upcoming.

An update

Published
by
mattfast1
on October 13, 2005
in Adventures in Road Rage, Random Ramblings and Work
. 0 Comments

I never update my blog anymore. I know, you don’t even have to say it: I’m a slacker.

Anyway, I’m updating because I have a story.

Tonight, I clocked out of work at 10:07, only seven minutes after I was scheduled for. However, I find that the only way I’m allowed to drive is: take left turn on Clinton, take left on Arapahoe, then get on northbound I-25. This is a problem because I don’t want to go northbound. I wanna go west. So I get on the interstate, attempt to bust my way through the horribly screwed-up traffic on there (which is reduced to two lanes), and then I decide I’ll take I-225, get off somewhere there, then turn around and get on southbound I-25 from there. Of course, they’ve got the southbound ramp blocked, so I end up having to get back on northbound I-25 and get off at Hampden, which intersects many roads I need. So I stop at the stoplight, and some asshat who was in the turn lane decides he wants to get straght instead, which leads to a nasty scene that involves screeching tires, laying on the horn of a Ford Escort, and the cries of “fuck fuck fuck you fucking asshat!!!!!!!!!!!!”. Yeah. I swear, he came about 5 inches from making contact with my vehicle.

At least I know the brakes still work.