F* you.

Now that I’ve got your attention…

F* you, HyperQuality.

So now I have to explain myself. Well, on Friday I’m sitting there taking calls, and unbeknownst to me, I get QA listening to my call. It’s an authorization call, and a repeat call at that. Well, step 2 of troubleshooting is “Send a hit”, which is supposed to send any receivers on the account commands to reauthorize themselves. It takes about two seconds to send a hit using Dish Promo, one of the pieces of our account management software. However, the previous agent failed to send a hit, preferring to be lazy instead. They noticed the software on the receiver was outdated, so they had the customer update their software.

So, I’m working with the call, and the first thing I asked was the software version. Then I asked for DNASP information, the version of the firmware on their smart card. That’s about when I noticed, looking at previous notes, that no hit had been sent. So I sent the hit, and verified the receiver and smart card numbers, because at that point I didn’t trust the previous agent knew what they were doing, even though the receiver and smart card numbers were in their notes, I wanted to kill some time while the hit was sent.

Well, I did a hard reset, and it came back on like I knew it would. I made sure she could change channels, I knew it was resolved, and I also knew a 87-year-old woman didn’t know or care how it was fixed as long as it was fixed, which it was, so I didn’t bother to “summarize actions taken for resolution“.

Now I’ve got this 92% score which I KNOW I don’t deserve - I was quick, efficient, and arrived at the correct resolution following the steps laid out by engineering, unlike the previous agent. I solved this lady’s problem in 6:17 - with 1 minute being probing/verification, and a minute and a half waiting for her receiver to reset after unplugging it from the wall. I would call that efficient customer service, even though we made her repeat two pieces of information twice - Receiver CAID and Smart Card ID. Also, what really burns me is if I hadn’t have asked, they would have knocked me for not following the steps outlined in the CSCWeb, and probably for “not picking up the line of questioning appropriately”. HyperQuality is not supposed to be a Catch-22, it’s supposed to be a “you did this wrong” or “keep doing this shit, this is great” tool.

Funny thing? They tell us “well, they’ve done your job, so they know what they’re talking about”.

BS.

Now there’s a game I was good at.