New Year’s Resolutions

Right, so I’ve never actually posted new year’s resolutions. Heck, I’ve never really made a new year’s resolution. But I figure, it’s still January 1, and I’m bored. So, I’ll bite.

  1. I spend too much damn money. As such, I resolve to spend even more.
  2. I also eat way too freaking much. This year, I resolve to eat more than a ton of food.
  3. I waste too much time on the computer. This year, I’m gonna produce something useful while on my computer.
  4. TV is my mind-controlling zombifier. …MUST….WATCH….MORE….TV….CLEAR….OUT….TIVO….BLARG…..
  5. Driving fast is fun. Speeding tickets not so much. So, I’m gonna drive faster so the cops can’t catch up with me. Kinda like that movie The Dukes of Hazzard (IMDB, Amazon).
  6. Blog at least 3 times a week.
  7. Must…get….laid. Too long has my penis hung flacid and unused. Yes, I do realize this should be prioity number one; however, why start with the best material?
  8. Get to bed before this day is over, as I have work early tomorrow morning and don’t want to be perceived as a slug ;)

UPDATE: Fuck off, wordpress. I was just kidding when I put that HTML there.

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