Monthly Archive for June, 2005

The Great Link Whore Debate

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 23, 2005
in Assignments and The Web
. 0 Comments

When the Alliance posted the filthy lie assignment this week, I had to stop and think. I mean, sure, the Alliance is really just an excuse to get higher in the ecosystem, but it also serves as a way to “regulate” the blogosphere, rather than having one blog that is referred to as a “credible source” by journalists.

Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit) didn’t rise to the number one blog on the net by being good. He did not rise to the top by mere chance. Rather, it was because people linked him, and being the link-whoring puppy blender that he is, everyone who linked him got a link back to their blog on his front page. When the Googlebot came by, both of their sites got more Google Juice. I’m sure quite a few of the people were bribed by the Satan-worshipper and his cronies.

So, yes, the Alliance is a freaking link whore. But at least the members of this link-whoring organization have some standards, and stand together with a common goal/mission/idea/etc., while Glenn and his buddy Satan have no purpose other than the dominance of the blogosphere. So, at the end of the day, the hated Satan-worshipping, hobo-murdering puppy blender is a much worse link whore than the loved Satan-murdering, hobo-worshipping puppy loving Alliance.

1986

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 21, 2005
in Blarg! and General Site News
. 0 Comments

It appears I am quite high ranking within the Blogosphere. There are over 20,000 people who are enrolled in N.Z. Bear’s Ecosystem, and I am currently ranking #1986 out of all of them.

Of course, that means I’m going to have to start exerting even more power and control over the entire blogosphere. The problem is, most of the people who read my blogs either have no way of linking to me because they have no blog, or they’re on lj and the system doesn’t allow their template to have any links and/or they can’t figure out how to set up the links, or some other circumstance that precludes incoming links, traffic, and popularity.

My goal, of course, is to attain the status of Glenn Reynolds within the sphere. If I were as loved and as hated as him, that would suit me just fine. The only way up the ladder is by showing that I am consistantly better than most of the other blogs out there, and obviously there are a number of people who already think so.

Now, of course, my template helps somewhat. The way my current template is situated, it looks like I write a lot with each post, when in reality it may just be a simple post. After all, when you have a four-column layout like I do, it kinda squishes the post into a much smaller area. That makes it look bigger. It’s kinda like a penis pump for my writing.

I have a lot of plans for this blog, in the future. Eventually, I want to be able to break a huge news story. That would bring a huge amount of new traffic to the site - almost as much as being Slashdotted.

So, therein lies my plan for world domination. Also, I plan to keep this a completely ad-free zone for as long as I can. However, no one’s been donating, and my part-time job is not keeping pace with my expenses. So here’s my call to you, fair netizen: donate a measly five bucks to me through paypal. If everyone who visits my blog does that, I’ll be… well, about 10 bucks richer. Maybe I should ask for more, but I’m not that greedy. However, if you don’t donate to me, I’ll be left poor and have no choice but to implement AdSense. Then, if that doesn’t provide enough money, I’ll have to implement even more ads, causing load times to increase drastically, viewer satisfaction to drop, and less people viewing my ads, causing the ads to snowball. Please, don’t make me do that. I really don’t want to.

Right…

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 21, 2005
in Blarg! and Financial
. 0 Comments

Hokay, so…

Last night, I was talking to Will, who’s one of the GSTLs (The managers of the Front Lanes), and he mentioned that I’d won the contest last week. See, the deal was, for every RedCard© we “sold” to our customers last week, we got one entry into a drawing. I “sold” one such card, and there were three prizes available: two 1st prizes (a free DVD) and a second prize (A $10 Target gift card).

I was the first person chosen, and therefore won a DVD.

So now, I am the proud owner of a FREE copy of Will Ferrill’s Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (the unrated, uncut & uncalled for version; not appropriate for younger viewers).

There are times I love working at Target. Like when I win something. Or when one ETL tells the closing ETL to give us all free drinks (that happened last night). Or when I’m working Electronics (again, something that happened last night).

I wonder what today holds for me?

The number eight source!

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 21, 2005
in Random Ramblings
. 0 Comments

My humble little blog right here is now the number eight source on the internet (according to Google) for David Letterman’s phrase, “Will you be there when the big door swings open?”.

I expect that number to climb, now that I’ve mentioned it more than once…

Time to hate Glenn Reynolds… and sleep.

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 19, 2005
in Blarg!, The Web and Tired-ness
. 0 Comments

Have you ever read Glenn Reynold’s website? I’m sure you have, considering the guy gets more pageviews than the guy who set up whitehouse.com. Anyway, now I have joined the fight against his dominance of the blogging world. I don’t care if that’s spelled wrong, I’ll spell however I damn please.

Anyway, I am now (or soon will be) a part of the Alliance of Free Blogs, the organization that completely opposes Glenn Reynolds and his InstaPundit website. Why, you might say? Because when one gets that many pageviews, it’s time to do something. That, and this is the guy who currently represents blogging to the world “out there” — to the media and such. Really, isn’t that what we’re fighting for? The media not being dominated by one source? That’s what’s happening now, and I’m really sick of it. In fact, if it doesn’t appear on InstaPundit, some news organizations won’t even run a story on it, no matter what it is.It’s sad, it’s wrong, and that’s why I support the Alliance of Free Blogs.

Oh, yeah, and a little personal note to Glenn, should he ever read this: have fun with your satanistic puppy-slushie-making rituals while you can, becasue we’re coming for you.

Get your Google Juice!

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 18, 2005
in Blarg!
. 0 Comments

Google has come up with a new schwee~t product.

Go read about it: Google Gulp.

*yawn* Will you be there when the big door swings open?

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 17, 2005
in Funny, Tired-ness and Weather
. 0 Comments

I’m so tired… it’s kinda funny, because I haven’t done jack-shit all day.

Perhaps I’ll get something done tomorrow. Actually, I have to, because that way, I’ll get paid for delivering the Broncos schedules to my neighborhood. Getting paid is fun. It’s good motivation.

Only, it’s supposed to be 93 degrees tomorrow.

Damn, I should start at like 4:00. Hitch a ride with the paper delivery guy, get it done a little faster, and go home to relax. Better yet, I could just go out and start doorbell-ditching people at 3 AM. That would be fun, although I do have to be careful whose doorbell I ditch. Fortunately, that just got a lot easier, because the Arapahoe County Sheriff’s Office just put their sexual offenders into a new web application today. This web site gives more information then you could shake a nightstick at, including photos, addresses, and convictions of all registered sex and/or child-related crimes committed by an adult. Today, they’ve already seen twice their usual weekly traffic.(sources: KCNC News 4; KRFX Fox 31)

And no, I’m not on the list, thank you for asking. Apparently, traffic violations committed by a minor don’t show up.

Although, the guy who gave me a ride home from work last night did get pulled over for having one of his license plate lights out.

Yeah.

I did laugh, thanks for asking.

Heh, heh, heh…

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 16, 2005
in Blarg!, Financial and Funny
. 0 Comments

Right… so, the ETLs at my Target need to cut hours this week, right?

So they cut my Saturday shift (6-10).

However, I’m covering Ryan’s shift on Sunday (9-4).

Does that seem like we’re going backwards over here, since I’ve lost four hours but gained seven?

This phone sucks.

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 15, 2005
in Blarg! and Financial
. 0 Comments

Qwest, the local phone company in Denver, is utter crap.

The main phone line in my house went down yesterday night, causing them to temporarily re-route all phone service onto the line that is primarily responsible for my web surfing. The consequence? I was cut off from the web.

In addition, I have to close tomorrow. (grrr…..)

And on Saturday. (GRRRRRR….)

And four days next week. (GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!)

But I’ll get paid. (yay!)

Well. (YAY!!!!)

301 up and running

Published
by
mattfast1
on June 13, 2005
in Blarg!, General Site News and The Web
. 0 Comments

The final step of my server move has finally been completed!

That’s right, I have finally implemented the status code 301 (Permanent Redirect) on the old server. Thanks to Brian V Bonini for more information about 301 redirects.

Now, attempts to access anything from there will result in a redirect to that same page on the new server.

Ain’t life grand?