Monthly Archive for August, 2003

Explosion Time! Yay!

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 23, 2003
in Funny
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @282
Current Mountain Time: 23.47

Past Semtex, Pop Rocks are the most explosive conventional explosives.

  Alright, what’s the deal here? I read an interesting fact today that just had to be shared: Many stores in the US are selling high explosives. Not only that, they are sold online. Anyone with a buck rattling around in their pocket. This is… Pop Rocks!

  Pop Rocks [ Official Website ] have their full history available at their website, but basically, they were invented in 1956, Marketed in 1975, Pulled from shelves in 1983, and re-marketed in 2000. Blah blah blah. (I’m bored, OK?)

  Pop rocks are boring now. Personal life time. I have to find a (child-appropriate) website to feature in ALD’s e-newsletter for teens. Also, I am trying to learn Elvish. I think that would be just awesome to know how to speak and write Elvish, if only to confuse teachers (muhahahaha). Yeah. Fan-tastic.

  Go away now. I’m bored. *muttering* I’m sorry, but my lawyer personality (one of the more annoying ones) tells me that I shouldn’t tell you to go away. So, do not go away. Repeat: DON’T GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!

W32.SoBig.A@MM

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 20, 2003
in Computers and Stupidity
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @199
Current Mountain Time: 21.47

She’s Too Big, Scotty!

  If you are like me, you get hundreds of messages a day. No, they are not all hate mail; nor are they from friends. Yes, they are spam. Spam constitutes roughly 227% of my e-mail every day, causing me to turn on filters that, for some reason, hate all mail with “msn.com”, “hotmail.com”, and “microsoft.com” domains. Oh, right, that is a “feature” of Netscape’s filter. Well, anyway, there are still people who are stupid enough to open any and all attachments they recieve. After all, if someone is sending you e-mail, they would only want to give you something in your best interests, right? If they were malicious hackers, they wouldn’t want to send you a false advertisment, that tells you to open the attachment, right?

  Unfortunately, people still do this. People I’ve NEVER EVEN HEARD OF start telling me that their servers are detecting viruses in their e-mail. Messages that I NEVER SENT are bounced back to me at a rate of once every 10 minutes until hell freezes over. If I bought everything those advertisements told me to, I would have a 100-foot long penis and a nice piece of ass to go with it. I would own brand-new Dell laptops for fractions of the price demanded by Dell. Viruses would be history, thanks to the 20 virus scanners running on my computer that cost 500 bucks apiece. None of this is true, but people still do it.

  That’s the end of my mini-rant. To read another author’s larger rant on this subject, go to [ SomethingAwful.com ]. (note: not linked yet due to link page being unavailable. Just go there, retards!)

To remove the W32.SoBig.A@MM virus, go to [ Symantec Security Response - W32.SoBig.A@MM ].

It’s Evil. Do not read unless you want a severe case of Hoyven-Mayven!

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 17, 2003
in School
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @221
Current Mountain Time: 22.18

  DISCLAIMER: I do not really wish to do the things mentioned here. Never. I want to make that clear to all authorities.

  Well, OK, maybe I do. That doesn’t mean I will.

  NOTE: If you already read my other blog ( Wha? How did I get here? ), you will be disappointed. This post is also there, since I’m too damn lazy to write two blog enties tonight.

  Now that I have the fine print out of the way, here it comes: the gist of today’s update.

Fuck School.

  Tomorrow marks the beginning of school. I will finally be a Junior, which gives me the honour of being able to beat up on the Freshmen, Sophomores, and the Juniors that are smaller than me. In addition, I have many cool classes, more off hours than anyone else in the school, and access to a high-speed internet connection that is (nearly) unfiltered. So it’s not bad.

  And yet… And yet… And yet… there’s those classes that make you want to scream, they are so uncool. English, History, and Math… Ugggg…. they just make you want to start hurling Molotov Cocktails from the back of the room and watch the teacher and the students scream in horror as the flames start burning the desks, etc. Ahh, how fun that would be.

  Our school, knowing them, will have the heaters running full blast when we get there. In 90 degree weather. So hot, teachers will start taking classes outside to get a breath of cool air. Ahh, good old Arapahoe High. Also, I loathe some of the administrators. Not all, just most. But I have plenty of free time, enough that I get out of the school and go visit my girlfriend, rip off that 7-11 across the street, or just carose with some friends. It’ll be a blast. Especially tomorrow, when we all get to relearn the joy of filling out forms… all day long! In all classes! Then, we all get to hear the same bullshit rules all day long! How fun and exciting! In fact, I recently had a discussion with a friend via IM about this. A transcript follows:

[ I tend to be ArpKoelbel in this situation ]

[22:43.08] Ken Stanton: sup
[22:43.13] ArpKoelbel: yo
[22:51.27] Ken Stanton: shit man, school
[22:51.41] ArpKoelbel: yeah. I can hardly wait.
[22:51.55] Ken Stanton: stfu
[22:51.59] Ken Stanton: lol
[22:52.20] Ken Stanton: i mean ya, me too, it will be great
[22:53.01] ArpKoelbel: yeah. It will be exciting! Put on your happy face! We are just going to go and learn everything there is to know about filling out forms… again! It will be a blast!
[22:53.20] Ken Stanton: oh hell ya
[22:54.21] Ken Stanton: and then we get to listen to the bs rules
[22:54.56] ArpKoelbel: Oh hell yeah! I can hardly wait for the bullshit! I live for the bullshit!

  Time to go. I want to be fully rested up for the bullshit rules, forms, and homework. And maybe a few rounds of bullshit at lunch.

Software

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 16, 2003
in Computers
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @254
Current Mountain Time: 23.06

  You know, something just occured to me. Well, several somethings: my mind is always working. But one thing in particular is that, although I have mentioned bad software, I have never given anyone any good software to see. So, that’s whats on today.

WinMX

  WinMX ( WinMX.com ) is a P2P file sharing service. For our readers who are less tech-savvy, that means that people designate shared folders on their computer, from which you can download. It also means there’s no central server, so you can’t ever shut it down. During my use of WinMX, I have never found anything to complain about, except the grade-F porn that infiltrates the grade-A stuff sometimes.

  • Download Time: What download time? It downloaded in maybe 30 seconds
  • Installation: No major surprises, however, you need to be connected to the internet for it to find your connection
  • Ease of Use: My 2 year old nephew can run this program. All you do is type the name of the song / file, click search, and click download. In a few seconds / minutes / hours / days / months / years / decades (depending on file size and connection), the file is ready for you!
  • Problems: No major problems.

    Maybe more later. Must watch SNL.

A “short” rant about Yahoo, Microsoft, and AOL

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 15, 2003
in Blarg!
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @270
Current Mountain Time: 23.42

  We will start the rant about Microsoft first, since their WindowsUpdate server is currently gone. From the official Windows 98 Web Site, located at http://www.microsoft.com/windows98 and last updated October 31, 2002:

Get Internet Explorer. The latest version has plenty of new features, including Print Preview. Download it for free today!

Alright, pretty straightforward, they’re just hawking products. But wait, I’m confused. the Internet Explorer that comes with Windows 98, IE4, has a Print Preview function. So does IE3. So why are suddenly saying to get the new version that is overbloated just because it has “print preview”? I just don’t get it. However, Microsoft gets a little stupider in the Privacy Policy page at http://www.microsoft.com/info/privacy.htm”, last updated November 1, 2002:

Microcrap can e-mail you ads about their software and claim it an “essential part of the service you have chosen”, and “you will not be able to choose to unsubscribe to these mailings”

In this case, I just added my editorials straight to the line. After all, if Microsoft wants to e-mail me ads about Windows XP, I can’t unsubscribe or turn off the mailings in any other way except by using my own filter program. Thank you, Bill Gates; now I can hear about how great Windows XP is, now that it passes the worm along that bombed your server for updates (which my computer is incompatible with, because I still run Windows 98). It is such a blessing to hear about how I can buy Windows 2000 for “only” 300 bucks. Mr. Gates, may I please buy the right to slobber on your shoes? I only want to do it all day. Oh, only 100,000 bucks? Gee, that was being put aside for a vacation, but I can slobber on your shoes! Thank you!

  I’m tired. More rants coming soon.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 15, 2003
in School
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @252
Current Mountain Time: 23.03

  Well, that’s it. Summer is over. Time to go waste my time at school for a while, and then try to enjoy my last summer vacation of my life. That sucks. Although, I am doing some stuff in PC Servicing that requires me to actually learn stuff, so that will be fun. Plus, I have many off times, plus get credit for going around to collect the attendence slips 3 times a week. Life is sweet.

  This should be a very fun year. I am off on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays between 9:25 and 12:09, Tuesdays between 10:31 and 12:09, plus I get out at 1:06 (rather than 2:13), and on Thursdays between 10:31 and 12:09. Life is the SHIT on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, when I will have a chance to go see my girlfriend (yay!).

  I think I will kill something, first thing when I get back to school. Probably the server, if Fisch or the W32.BLASTER worm doesn’t get it.

A couple day’s confusion

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 14, 2003
in Stupidity
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Current Internet Time: @255
Current Mountain Time: 23.07

  It’s been a reallll confusing couple of days for me.

  • New York (NE US/SE CANADA): What the hell is up with the power? I thought this was the USA, not no namby-pamby frilly power system like the French have. I mean, there should be more power plants than needed, not just enough.
  • Watering: OK, Colorado is in a fucking drought, but that doesn’t stop some little fucker from watering his lawn at 3 PM anyway. Fuckers like that deserve to die. I am paid to water someone’s lawn, and I have to wait until way after dark or some officer will come and fine me. Little fuckers.
  • Personally: My parents are such little fucking pricks. They get pissed off when my room isn’t exactly spotless, and they get even more pissed off when I disappear to my girlfriend’s house for hours on end. Fucking fuck fuckers.

  More crap will be added to the info areas today.

FUCK GuideScope!

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 12, 2003
in Computers and Stupidity
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @252
Current Mountain Time: 23.03

Fuck you, GuideScope!!!!!

  As you may know, a company called GuideScope puts out a product called GuideScope, which promises to block all ads. I tested it, and these are my results:

  • Download Time: Reasonably quick download over a 56.6K modem (with AOL, mind you).
  • Installation: Virtually painless, doesn’t fuck with system settings, making you set it up yourself as a proxy.
  • Ease of Use: Very easy to use, although I don’t like having to be connected to change settings.
  • Problems: Hoo boy-o. This program is ridden with bugs. First, it doesn’t actually block all ads, just the first one on the page. Second, and truly worst, it doesn’t let any authorization activity through (such as logging into Blogger), meaning you can’t check mail, log in to various accounts, or do anything of value. Third, it is a complete resource hog. I don’t really worry, having 287MB at my computer’s disposal, but others might run into problems.

DO NOT DOWNLOAD!!!!!

  Other than that, I am lazy. Don’t talk to me for a few days, I got my @$$ kicked at LaserQuest tonight, but I was taking on the best Laser Tag players in the US, so I don’t feel so bad.

Current Mood: Fullfilled

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 6, 2003
in Quizzes and Stupidity
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @270
Current 23.29

Power to the Spoons!

  Well, I visited Kay’s Blog, found via the “10 most recently published blogs” list on Blogger’s web site. On this web site, I found links to several quizzes, the results of which are published on this page.
  Please note that some quizzes may be protected by copyright law, blah blah blah… Inclusion on this site doesn’t mean jackshit… basically, I’m not necessarily endorsing these quizzes just because they are going on my web site. Go ahead and click the picture of my result to take the test yourself. Now we can get to my blog entry.

The Completely Pointless Personality Quiz
The completely pointless quiz

lancelot
Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who!
What Monty Python Character are you?

  Today was a day like any other day… CRAP! I got up around 10:30, ate at 10:45, Sat in front of my computer at 11:00, and didn’t move hardly any until 5:00. Quick note: Let’s not bicker and argue about who killed who! Just because I got my hands on a lawnmower… Alright, next subject. Does anyone know how to remove bloodstains from my lawn mower? I’ve tried just about everything I have, and I just haven’t been able to get anything off. Anyone who knows the secret is free to E-mail me. Other than that slightly pissing me off, it has been mostly good to be here today. Most of my day has revolved around sifting through and sorting my many pictures *cough*porn*cough*, which is a pretty fun day. Not to mention using my lawnmower to run down that stupid little brat that keeps running around in my flowers…

Whadda you want?

fixedsys
Fixedsys - You are the person people go to when
they are having trouble with their computer.
Geeky but reliable.

  Some people, like my very stupid friend Ryan are such fucking fuck fuckers it is hardly believable. He types in a gay font colour (yellow), fucks himself continuously, and rapes his sister every night. ‘Tis a sad story. Anyway, thank you for purchasing an internet. With every single second you spend on your internet, you are helping to support whack jobs like me. So enjoy this, because you are essentually paying for me. Thank you very much, and we hope you enjoy your internet just as much as we enjoy ours.

You're sweet and innocent on the outside but on the inside you're one wild horny bunny!
I’m a Bunny Hug - Sweet and innocent on the outside, one wild horny bunny on the inside.

Mmm… Wendy’s…

  Finally, we can get to the Awful Link™ of the day©. Today, right from your own Internet, we have chosen… Kay’s Blog. Now, blogs aren’t traditionally Awful Links™, but as we are running out of time, patience, and bad websites that we know of, and her address just happened to be on our page anyway, we just slapped it on there at the last minute. Now go to hell, you internet fuckers. I’m checking my mail and leaving.

Personality Disorder Test

Published
by
mattfast1
on August 5, 2003
in Quizzes
. 0 Comments

Current Internet Time: @338
Current Mountain Time: 1.08

  Well, I just took a cool online survey to show personality disorders. These are my results:

Disorder Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

– Personality Disorder Test - Take It! –

  Therefore, GIVE ME EVERYTHING I WANT!!! NOW!!!

  Also, I know now which circle of Hell I will be banished to.
The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) High
Level 2 (Lustful) Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very High
Level 7 (Violent) Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Low

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

  No, I do not believe the same things that the Catholics, Jewish, or Islamic peoples believe; nor do I believe what the Hindus or the Bhuddists believe. I believe that the ancient Egyptians and Romans were closer to the truth with many gods that dictate all live; and am currently working on a religion with that philosophy in mind. Later.